Family Values....

 It is no secret to any society that a person has a serious advantage in life if they are the product of a loving and supportive home. Of course, one can still succeed with less than an ideal home life. It nevertheless remains true that a stable family life helps us and teaches life’s lessons at home. “Family values” can arm one with the armor to venture out on life’s great journey.

This post will consider the words “family” and “values”, individual words with very unique and different definitions. Like many other words we use every day, these words joined together as a team signifies meaningful and powerful dynamic too often overlooked in today’s world

  Before we look at “family values” as two words joined together, it would be instructive to consider them separately. The definitions of “family” around the world, are for the most part, the same, meaning a group of people that are joined together in purpose, or by race, or beliefs, but most commonly by ancestry, blood, and marriage. Family is derived from the Latin term famulus meaning servant, evolving into the word familia meaning household servant or household family, and then the literal translation into English as the family.

The word “value” has a unique and specific definition and carries with it an inherent, all things being relative, definition. What this means is, although the definition is the same, the level and substance of value varies greatly; consider the idiom “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”.  To define “value” is the usefulness or worth of (something or someone). The word “value” comes from the Latin word Valeo meaning “I am worth” which translated into old French as valoir meaning “be worth”, which translates to value in old English

My family is not just blood and marriage but also my closest friends. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,(mormon.org) Mormons, the meaning of family is broad. Mormons believe that all human beings ever born or that are to be born are the literal spirit children of a loving Father in Heaven, thus we are all brothers and sisters, a spiritual family. This is not a belief unique to Mormons. This feeling or line of belief can be found in tribes, clans, races, and all sorts of different groups of people all around the world and throughout history. We as human beings find the ability to relate to one another, rather it be sharing the same hometown, high school, favorite sports teams, or brand of car or soda pop, we all have micro, and macrofamilies. 

           "Value" is relative to the user of the word.  One’s placing a value on one thing may not translate to another, thus "value" is as unique as the user of the word. There are millions of tradesmen in this world, all with a set of skills that may or may not translate to the other. Their uniqueness is what gives greater value as a whole to their societies. As children, my parents taught my siblings and myself the value of a dollar, hard work, tools, transportation, books, shoes, clothing, heat, food, and shelter. We were taught how difficult it was to get some of those things and thus a priority was placed on the value of each. Priorities were established in our home just like everyone else’s home, priorities with greatest value or worth came first, dates and movies took a back seat to food and shelter. My father prioritized his children before himself in all matters; to the point his health was often the victim.  As a young father my dad often went years between new pairs of shoes.

       While raising eight boys and a girl all growing at an astonishing rate my father always made it a priority to clothe and feed his children before himself.  In this true example of love, an endearing family value, priority is placed on the value of the children’s needs before the father's own needs or wants. 

       
       The term family values give some people the creeps, believing that society is trying to cram something down their throat. People can be turned off by the term “family values”. In college I read an essay by Katha Pollitt titled “Why I hate Family Values (let me count the ways)”, at the time of her writing, Pollitt a recently divorced mother of a young daughter. Given her experience Pollitt had more than a passing opinion on the matter regarding the world’s view of her values, prompting her to write the above-mentioned essay.  But after study and reflecting on Pollitt’s “hate” one shortly discovers that there are family values in everyone's home they are just defined differently. Pollitt indeed maintains family values what she really describes hating (in my opinion) are the values socially dictated to her.

With this beautiful and amazing life comes and amazing gift we call a free agency. Free to choose, free to do what we want and when we want to do it, but not free to choose the consequences of poor decisions. Placing greater value on the family and its priority for success is again relative. My life is a very good life because of the value or great worth my family places on one another, and the “family values” within our home strengthen that relationship to make us stronger and closer. One of the greatest blessings in our home is that we are all together for dinner. In my home, we were always taught to eat dinner as a family, and today that is practiced in my home as well as those of my siblings. It is of great value to our family and is not to be taken lightly, the best conversations of the day happen around the dinner table.

       David O McKay, a  Mormon prophet, is often  quoted “No success outside  the home can compensate for  failure inside the home”.  Family values are those which  enriches and edify the family  to be as strong and powerful as possible for no man shall be alone. As Adam lie alone in the Garden of Eden and God gave unto him a wife in Eve, that they should be together and a helpmeet for one another that they may multiply and replenish the earth. The family is the most sacred organization on earth and it should be garnished and cherished with the greatest of value and strengthened by the values we hold dear, to protect us from the ever-encroaching world, a world being crammed down my throat and into my life, the never ending battle, striving to be in the world not "of" the world. With our family’s ship anchored in family values, we stand a chance of happiness and success whatever that may be. There is several television commercials produced by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that I have grown quite fond of regarding the importance of families at the end of each commercial the viewers are asked “Family isn’t it about –time?”