I am a victim of bullying.

I do not own this picture

I was reading a story tonight about another young man robbed of his future because of bullying, he killed himself as a result of the relentless torture he has endured. In seventh grade one of the students in my homeroom class was bullied pretty heard, compounded by some depression, Chad, his name was Chad, chose to kill himself, and that has always affected me.  I was bullied from 7th – 9th grade by a student and in 9th grade I took care of it; the bullying ended, bullying rarely ends this way.

My heart brakes, especially when people continue to say things about the bullied such as he/she needs to toughen up, it builds character, endurance and strength... or the bullied were just a pussy cat.  That is an awful cop out. We ARE created equal in value and purpose to our father in heaven, Matthew 25:40 40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. But we are all unequal in strength, circumstances, privilege, culture, health, wealth, and so on.

I have raised my children never to engage in, tolerate, or condone any bullying, in fact, going as far as telling them that I would rather be called to the principal’s office or the police station because you stood up for yourself or someone else, than to allow, or witness bullying go unchecked without intervening.

I do not own this picture

There may be two kinds of reactions from my post, those that think I am a pussy cat and completely disagree with me, and those who do agree with me and stand against bullying. If you are a bully or have been in the past get on your knees and pray for humility and forgiveness. If you are a victim get on your knees and pray for strength and courage, the bullied and the bully, are both loved by our Father in Heaven.

For nearly 20 years I worked as an EMT and I saw the horrifying results of bullying and the toll it takes on the human spirit. Bullying often leads to more bullying, drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, depression and the worst of all suicide. All of which wreaks havoc on the soul, and family.

I too am a victim of every adolescent and teenager (and even adults) that suffered from bullying, who I cared for in my capacity as an emergency service provider. As a first-hand witness of children killing themselves, by hangings, drug overdoses, self-inflicted gunshot wounds, and so on; I can assure you that there is always, ALWAY left in the wake of the victims--a trail of broken hearts, what-ifs, ands, and buts.

That is my soap box for the night, please love your children and talk to them, Bullying is a learned behavior, discourage it, and count it as a disgraceful and despicable sin, never excused or condoned.

BYU legend and NBA athlete Jimmer Fredette is leading a valiant fight and doing some good in the fight against bullying. Please check out his facebook page here https://www.facebook.com/fredettefamilyfoundation/?fref=nf

Goodnight,  

A Rambling Update

I recognize that I have been absent from my blog, and it was my intention to stay current with it as a way to vent frustrations, fix my need to write or tell stories, as well as an outlet to express my feelings and opinions on a lot of issues, however, life got real for a while…

UPDATE

My last post, Trin had just had surgery, she was doing well and a month after her original successful surgery she had a major setback that required another surgery. She has been a real trooper through all of it, so has her husband and kids. Trin has suffered so much, through this ordeal and has been so kind and humble through the entire situation. 

Two weeks after her second surgery I had a 40th birthday, celebrated by my friends, who scooping us up and hauled my wife kids and me to LasVegas for a week; we had a blast. We could never have afforded this trip, and their kindness and surprise was overwhelming. I could not fully experience the “vacation because I was enrolled in classes for the summer semester and the workload and homework were kind of brutal, but I did well. 

We needed income and I tried feverishly to find work that would accommodate a school schedule, for both my children and I, the care of my wife, and my callings in church without much luck. As the summer drew to an end and I finished my summer semester Trin’s condition began to worsen once again, resulting in another evaluation of her back of which identified a need, now, for a third back surgery in six-month period. 

Treat gets a treat in her recovery bed and
the pets come out of the woodwork

Her doctors and his staff tried several less invasive procedures with little to no positive effect, and the decision for an anterior access spinal fusion was made (look it up). The timing could not have been worse; this decision was right on the heels of a worsening condition in my shoulder that was in need of "cleaning". My shoulder procedure was something that was only going to be a minor clean up and inspection. I awoke from surgery to the news that I had a torn labrum, rotator cuff, bicep tendon, and a nearly fused A/C joint (look it up). My surgery occurring on Monday which was followed by my wife’s surgery on Friday of the same week. 

My view of my PUMA TED hose
and my nephew Boden

I was set to start a new job in December, that I was no longer able to start because of the worse than expected shoulder problems. Through this time, we had received a lot of help from friends, family, the government, and or church. We would have never survived the last year without the unified help of charity-- whatever its source. 

This really has been I hope the tail end of a real rough ride going back to 2008, of which I have mentioned in previous posts. But my prospective employer has held my position until the end of this month when it is projected I can resume normal activities.

         I am a Junior at Weber State university working my butt off in school to get great grades and caring a load of 36-40 credits per year in social science.  I will not lie this whole time has been a trying experience for me, and I recognize my responsibilities in our situation, but I can truly stand before God and answer that I have tried to provide every need to my wife and children. I, through this, have had some real low times with the idea that I was not a true provider or a drag on society, but in reality, I am not embarrassed by our predicament; I am encouraged because the Lord still trusts me enough with some of his most prized creations to allow me stewardship over them, and continue his refining process to harden my blade.

My father, grandfathers, uncles, and brothers are all very hard working men, they have given me the example to follow, they were not without their trials and failures but they always got back up dusted themselves off and kept on keeping on.  I was looking for the hero to come and save the day, all the while he was in the mirror, I don’t feel like it but an out-of-the-blue letter from my daughter confirmed that I am still awesome.

God will bless us and bless you. I recognize his hands in our endurance, opportunity, progress, and further, “for it is his treasure I seek, his approval, his blessing, and guidance, Luke 12:16–34 “…where the treasure is, there is the heart”.